Thursday, January 29, 2015

For Foster /Adoptive Parents of Children Who Have Experienced Trauma

I am 100% pro-life and pro-adoption, and yet I have learned so much from our own foster / adoptive experiences. It is not something to be entered into without a lot of information, information that I was incredibly ignorant of going into this process. The journey has been harder than anything I could have imagined at the beginning.

Out of respect for the child, I don't think I'll ever be able to publicly share the full story of how we lost a foster-child a year ago after nearly three years of prayer, the best intentions and efforts. I belong to a Catholic Foster/Adoptive group on Facebook now that wasn't even in existence yet at the time that we were going through such hardship and heartache. They have been such a blessing to me and hearing their stories has helped the healing process. I am also thankful to those family and friends who stood by us as our world was falling apart and of course, I am thankful for the grace of God, without which we never would have made it.

One of the members of that FB group shared this article: http://outofshemind.com/2015/01/dear-adoptive-parents-hard-lonely-road/ If you are parenting a child who has experienced trauma (and that pretty much includes ALL foster children, although not all act out in the same way) or if you are thinking about foster parenting, I encourage you to read it, not to scare you away from the road if that is what God is calling you to do, but so that you can better prepare yourself for the difficulty if it comes, and perhaps more importantly, know that you are not alone and that you are not a bad parent. And if you have a friend or family member who is struggling with a foster/adoptive child, I encourage you to read it as well. Please believe their stories and try to understand their pain. Their stories may seem out of the realm of possibility, but they aren't making it up.

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